It’s always exciting to be at the beginning of something. The dawn of a whole new world of possibilities. So how to begin a letter to myself. To recognise the preparations I need to meet, to build on the qualities and creative ideas I believe that I have.

Dear Fiona,
(Always a good start and actually the second letter to me today).
We have written one that Simon has taken and will get it back at the end of our first fortnight so we can see how we have developed and how we are thinking and what elements of that may grow change or even mutate. I have a feeling that many of the things I have put down on paper may mutate and growin to something more substantial. After all out of little acorns….

Well day one didn’t fail to disappoint. What a joy to be part of exploring the devising blocks with the full on energy, focus and commitment that today has needed. To be on the receiving end so to speak. To soak up every drop and try to remember the wealth of experience that Simon can contribute not only to the physical aspects of the process but also the key themes of why we are doing this.(my first cramp has just set in, boy that was painful).
I recognise in my self a complete need to absorb all this. maybe because I feel I have missed out in some way. This particular element was missing from my drama training and yet it was this idea that I was steered and interested in from studying my ALevel years. Here I get What a great environment of support and acceptance their is in the room. There doesn’t seem to be any pretentiousness and in fact I think that would go against everything that Scott and Simon believe in. Here there is the honest dialogue that yes you may fall but what’s the worst that can happen? You land on your arse and it’s ok because in that mistake you realise that it is all part of a process. So what Do I think I am bringing to two weeks?
Well it has to be a desire. A desire for something more. A better understanding of what it is i can bring to creating drama, to telling stories, to showing the complexities of relationships that isn’t Highschool Musical.
Not that there anything wrong with High school musical of course.
I’ve always wanted to do things in a more unconventional way. The freedoms of having no script but a theme an idea. Perhaps driven out of not wanting to pay for rights to perform. To allow students to become part of the creative process. To steer them away from the saturation of Xfactor and Britains got talent and see that there is something more rewarding in the coming together of ideas rather than processed format showing the masses what talent is supposed to be.

My concerns and of course I feel I probably have many is that ultimately I want to do well and won’t. I feel there are massive gaps in my knowledge and I have winged it so far in life without any real substance and academia to support it. I am trying to understand all the theories of modern theatre and where they fit in with how I will process this all? Will anything I write make any sense?

Today though, I do think I have a knack, there were moment of ‘yes this is right and don’t over think this’, for when it became hard it was just a matter that it was the brain labouring too hard and it tried to quieten the instinct rather than allowing the instinct to takeover. This did become a little hard when there were two instincts working against us and the default is now I realise to listen to what the body says. It’s push hands but bigger. It’s the contact and the shifts in weight that can make things look effortless….

Over all I think after two weeks I want to seem that everything I do is effortless but of course the preparation and behind the scenes are the working of a well connected mind and body that works intuitively with the environment and those within it.

Yours sincerely

Fiona

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